You know what’s good. That was a statement, not a question. Like, you know what you enjoy. You might not be able to express it immediately in words without some fumbling around, but I bet with a few minutes reflection you’d be able tag some things you like about RPGs (or whatever your hobby might be). Hell, if you want to make this into a little workshop, grab some paper and a pen and note down a few things as they occur to you. Let’s do it — in fact, I’m going to it with you right now, as I write this. Let me get a pen out of the pot by the cooker and a bit of paper off the pile on top of the fridge (dear reader, there was no pen in the pot but I managed to find one with minimal swearing).
One of the great things about the roleplaying game hobby is how broad it has become. Beyond the experience of play, there’s reading, writing, painting, drawing maps, collecting dice, conventions, podcasts, actual play videos, etc. So what excites you about RPGs? Open your mind: it could eating pizza with your friends; it could be hearing the ringing of the doorbell and hoping it’s the latest Kickstarter arriving; could be a 20-year old memory of your first game; could be sitting alone in your room painting minis; could be that game you played last night, or the one you are looking forward to this evening; could be listening to an actual play podcast while you drive to work.
Write a list. Your list. Be honest. No judgement. You won’t get any likes or shares for this list. If something you write feels a bit vague, drill down to the core of it for what gives you the most enjoyment. Come back in a few minutes when you’re done. In the meantime, here’s a picture of what fun looks like for our guinea pigs:
Identifying why you like a thing can be tricky. I wrote nine things on my list, then broke off to continue writing this, but now I kinda want to go back and think about those things some more, and perhaps expand my list. Maybe later, I’ll realise I missed the most important thing off my list — that’s OK, I’ll just add it on.
When we’ve been into a thing for a long time, it can lose its lustre, and I think in some cases that’s because we lose our focus on what excites us about it. Not to get all Marie Kondo about it, but the things on my list spark joy for me, and I want to spend time on them.
But am I enjoying the right things? There are plenty of people out there with great gaming advice, and it’s easy to be swayed by their opinions. One can feel blown around like a boat adrift on the ocean. Heck, I’m a podcast host, so I’m probably as guilty of this as anyone. If you haven’t figured it out already, me let tell you: all those RPG writers, podcasters, bloggers and reviewers —they are just gamers, same as you, same as me. Each of those people has their own list of what is fun for them, and it may not be the same as yours. Look at your list — for you, those are the things that are paramount, don’t let anyone tell you different*.
So what is your idea of fun? I don’t mean to tell you what to do, but I recommend you take a moment to figure what you enjoy and set your own course. Let me know if you actually write your own list, and how that feels, but don’t feel any pressure to tell me (or anyone else) what’s on it.
*there’s an exception to this: if you listed anything that is going to hurt anyone else, like the desire to shock or offend, then you’ve crossed the line to being a dick. In this case, do let other people tell you different, and sort yourself out.